


Worth a million dollars and a pint of ice cream.

by Vander38



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29282652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vander38/pseuds/Vander38
Summary: A nice chat during the Citadel party, and Shepard learns that her crew love hearing stories about her.Just not the ones she wants told.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Worth a million dollars and a pint of ice cream.

“So boys, having fun?” Jane Shepard asks casually as she sits on the comfortable couch.

“Yeah Lola, just talking firsts.” James replies, passing her a beer.

“Ooh sounds fun.” Shepard smirks as she uses her lighter to pop the cap off the bottle.

“Yeah so my first, Batarian, big teeth on him, had an axe, got me right in the arm.” James continues from where he had left off.

“Oh first scars?” Jane asks.

“First wounds.” Kaidan corrects her with a smile.

“I really thought this was going someplace else.” Jane says to a general laugh.

“Mine was a broken collar bone, training flight, shuttle crashed.” Cortez says getting a shocked look from James.

“You fly us around.” James says with a scandalized tone.

“You flew a shuttle to crash, deliberately.” Cortez replies.

“So?” James asks.

“So that is like a kettle, calling another kettle, a kettle.” Cortez snaps back.

“Do you need a room?” Garrus asks sardonically, getting a dirty look from James in reply as Cortez shakes his head with a soft smile.

“How bout you big guy?” I ask to Garrus, who leans back in his chair.

“Back in C-Sec, got drop kicked into a ventilation shaft, fractured my mandible.” He says in that rich wonderful voice.

I mean I am very happy to be with Liara but his voice certainly is nice.

“How about you Lola?” James asks, sipping beer.

I think for a moment then shake my head.

“Nope, nothing, with the exception of dying I’ve never been injured or wounded.” I say easily and it’s true.

Guess I’m just lucky like that.

“What’s the difference?” Sam Traynor asks with a confused look on her face.

“Wounded involves the enemy, injured is when you fall out of a tree or something.” Kaidan says casually.

“You know I like you Lola, but I’m gonna call bs on that, you don’t do the things you’ve done without anything.” James says in a friendly challenge.

“Well I did die.” I point out.

“Apart from that nothing? Seriously nothing?” He presses.

“I can confirm that I have never seen a scar on Shepard, on either body.” Liara says and I look around to see her blush a deep purple as people look from her to me with raised eyebrows.

“You know, I can think of a time Shepard was wounded.” Kaidan says in the tone of a man spreading gossip.

I look at his face and a memory comes to mind.

“That, that was different, that doesn’t count.” I say pointing at his smiling face.

“So it’s juicy one then.” James says eagerly.

“I haven’t heard of this one.” Liara says curiously and I glare at her.

“Couple of years back, we did a big training exercise, combined manoeuvres, space drops, landing assaults, the works. We all had these training weapons, same ballistics, point of aim, bullet drop, everything, cept they wouldn’t penetrate, they would hit and hurt like a bitch, properly stung like hell.” He stops to drink more beer and I can see James smile slowly as he starts to work things out.

“Anyway one night we did this assault practice, sweep and clear type stuff, and Shepard here, manning the rear takes a hit, takes out the guy but still got tagged first.” He says shaking his head softly.

“I forget.” He says in a way that makes it clear he remembers very well.

“Lower back wasn’t it? Or top of the thigh?” He adds innocently and I just glare at him, staying mulishly quiet.

The thought spreads out in a wave around the room and each person in turn figures it out and they slowly look at me.

No one says anything for several minutes.

The silence is one of those very loud silences.

“Go on then.” I say with a sigh, just to break the atmosphere.

“Did you get shot in the ass?” They say as one, though Sam says arse, which has always sounded so much better than ass.

Gotta love Brits.

“It was a training round so it doesn’t count.” I say but it’s pointless to argue with them.

Not that they would here cos they are laughing too much.

“Did you get ice cream for it?” Vega asks loudly and I sigh again.

Always the ice cream rumour.

Ever since the invention of the stuff there has been the rumour that you get given ice cream if you get shot in the ass.

It’s sort of true, they do have better food in hospitals, including desserts, but only because better food improves morale and helps you heal, it’s not like there is a doctor that goes around prescribing the stuff for ass wounds.

Although it would stop the stinging.

“Yes but.” His laugh drowns out my explanation.

“Are you done now.” I deadpan after several moments of general mirth.

The laughter stops and there is an easy silence as people drink.

James hiccups into his drink.

“Is it bad I really would like some ice cream now?” Traynor asks out of nowhere and the room explodes in more laughter.

I join in this time because well, as things go its a pain in the ass but pretty funny.


End file.
